We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
