Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
