I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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