4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize