and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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