wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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