A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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