Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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