haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im six kinds of drunk right now
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize