I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
