Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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