he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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