Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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