dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
