What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
