you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
