is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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