Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
