Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
