All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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