Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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