I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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