My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i think im in europe. pls send help
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
