Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
