Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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