Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
