I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hate all girls vehemently.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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