community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
