Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
