someone owes me an orgasm
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
