Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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