i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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