i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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