my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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