I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
As shirtless as possible
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
