Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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