I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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