I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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