So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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