I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize