Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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