Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
