a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
