D3 body, D1 cock
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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