just come out here and I will go home with you...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
