That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
50% drunk capacity currently
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
