you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
