No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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