i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
