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When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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