oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
