Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
