Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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