wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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