I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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