I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
