it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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