Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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