can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
