I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
