About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
