Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
