you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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