Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
