so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
