Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
