They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
