gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
