I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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