it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
