I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
