yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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