i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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