i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize