Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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