I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You left your underwear on the fireplace
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
