I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
